What about my upbringing?

There are many reasons why women struggle with their sexuality. Let’s talk about one of them here: upbringing. A young girl will learn about her sexuality first in her home. She will be taught from a very early age, that she needs to always be aware of how she dresses, what she wears, and how she presents herself. She will learn very early, that her body is not something to embrace and enjoy but rather it is something to cover up and hide for fear of what it may do the boys she comes in contact with. She is reminded often of how the boys will react and behave based on how she dresses. She undoubtedly concludes that her body is not something to be proud of but to be ashamed of. She is told often to watch out or the boys will look. This, my friends, causes incredible hurdles in marriage for the woman. Her first mention of her sexuality is all about covering up and in turn she decides that all boys are the same. She concludes that her body is all about what it does to the boys and not once is she told to embrace her body and to be proud of her sexuality. I realize that not everyone will welcome this message and I’m okay with that. But if I can make a difference in someone’s life, I’m going to say it. Parents, stop telling your girls to cover her up. Stop telling them that the boys will objectify their bodies. Stop telling them how much her body will cause boys to sin. Tell her instead, how beautiful her body is. Tell her that her body will be a great blessing to her husband one day and her husband to her. Tell her that her sexuality is a good thing that should be nourished everyday. Teach her what it means to be a woman and how awesome being a woman is. Teach her to respect herself. Teach her to love her body. There will be no need to tell her to cover up… she will already be doing that but for all the right reasons. This will help a woman incredibly when she gets married. She will be in a healthy state of mind when it comes to sex and will be ready to embrace the idea that sex is for her too! This is not the end by any means to sexual freedom, but it is one place to start. If you are a woman and can identify with this, I highly recommend you read “The Sexually Confident Woman” by Shannon Ethridge and “the good girl’s guide to great sex” by Sheila Gregoire. (I realize that there is more to this issue than mentioned such as, ‘what about the boys’. This post is dealing with women and their issues. We will discuss the boys in another post)

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