Boys will be boys

I have three boys and as promised, it’s boy talk time. There is a saying that ‘boys will be boys’ and for most things I agree. Boys will be boys. But the problem with saying that in regards to their sexuality and their behavior is what we need to change. Yes boys are more visually stimulated than girls. Yes boys have more testosterone, which in turn makes then more aware of the physical. Yes boys will notice the beauty of a girl at a very early age. Yes boys engage in dirty talk. Yes boys will be boys. But here’s the thing: why is it okay to allow this kind of behavior and yet at the same time, tell the girls to ‘cover up’? Why make allowances in boys but not in girls? Boys are encouraged, (not always in a good way) to be sexual, girls are not. The problem with this kind of acceptance is that in the girls it keeps them from being who they are suppose to be and in boys, it encourages them to objectify the body of the female by allowing this kind of thinking under the guise of ‘boys will be boys’. But we can change that, one boy at a time. Here’s how: first, never make him feel bad for finding a girl attractive and nice to look at. He is wired to be visually stimulated. Don’t tell him not to look, but teach him to control his mind when doing so. Give him the power to accept his makeup but also to keep it in check until the day he marries. Second, teach him the idea of protection. Girls are not weak but they are weaker. Teach them how to give to the girls, not take from them. For example, many times boys will joke about taking a girls virginity away from them (even if they never do). Instead, teach them how to preserve that and to protect that, not take it away. Teach them honor and respect. Give the boys power to be the strength the girls can count on.

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