There are a lot of marriages that are struggling because their priorities are mixed up. A successful marriage always places the wife and husband relationship first. All other relationships come after. The parent-child relationship does not supersede the husband-wife relationship. When any spouse has to compete with the kids for attention, you know you are in trouble. Children need to know this. Sometimes they make it hard, especially when they are young and they cry. It definitely pulls on the mom for sure. But long-term results are what we are after. Children function better at school and have better relationships themselves, when they know and experience mom and dad loving each other. Your marriage bed is one place to start. Children should sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms, in their own space, not in your bed. If your child needs you, then go to their room. There have been many, many nights where I had to sleep with my child in their room. This is true at every age from newborn to teens. One sure fire way to put a stop to intimacy between you and your spouse is to allow children to sleep with you; maybe once in awhile, but never on a regular basis.
Early on in our marriage, we knew we would fight for our marriage through whatever would come our way. We decided before we had kids that they would always know that the mom dad relationship is the most important one in the family. Of course there were times when it wasn’t like that but that was not the norm.
Mom and dad should be first, the parent-child second. Always!