Saying no to your spouse when they want sex is not helping your cause. The very things you desire from your spouse like friendship, security, help with the kids and home, etc, are the things you are saying no to when you say no to sex. It’s not just about sex. It’s about the entire relationship. You want your spouse to meet your need? Then meet theirs. It’s actually pretty simple. You want your spouse to be a better parent? Meet their need for sex. You want your spouse to succeed and prosper at their job? Meet their need for sex. You want your spouse to be a better help? Meet their need for sex. It is quite amazing how things change when sex is no longer an area of contention.
Now don’t hear what I’m not saying. This is not a ‘you do this for me and I’ll do this for you’ type of thing. This is a natural course of action that happens when sex unites the two of you instead of divides you. This is just as simple as ‘if you want your needs met, focus on meeting the needs of others’ idea. It’s even greater than God’s original command to love one another as you love yourself. It’s more like what Jesus said in that you should love each other AS CHRIST HAS LOVED THE CHURCH, giving Himself up for us. He gave everything He had for us. He sacrificed His life for us.
Isn’t it time for change? Isn’t it time your spouse receives the best you can give? Look to Jesus, the perfect role model for your marriage. He gave everything for his bride. Will you do the same for your spouse?