AN ENCUMBERED SOUL
Every woman who resists sex, despises sex, withholds sex, avoids sex has an encumbered soul.
Definition of encumber
encumbered; encumbering play \in-ˈkəm-b(ə-)riŋ\
1. weigh down, burden tourists encumbered by heavy luggage
2. to impede or hamper the function or activity of : hinder negotiations encumbered by a lack of trust
3. to burden with a legal claim (such as a mortgage) encumber an estate
The soul of a person is their mind, will and emotions. So an encumbered soul is a soul that is weighed down, hindered from functioning as purposed, and has the inability to experience something as great as sex because of this covering.
You could liken it to a house that has a particular painted wall in any given room. The wall looks great but when you start to look deeply at it, you see layers and layers of paint. You see, instead of removing the old paint, the wall was just painted over. And depending on what kind of paint or color was used, the job was done well or not so well. Blemishes can start to show through. But you can never remove the blemish. You can just paint over it. To remove it would mean taking off all the old, existing paint.
God designed women to enjoy immense pleasure in sex. But a woman who doesn’t want sex, has a soul that is weighed down with either false information or experiences that have affected her life.
She is convinced that she doesn’t want sex for various reasons. They might include:
Abuse, guilt, shame, hurt, body issues, wrong upbringing, tradition, religion, fear, wrong believing, condemnation, confusion, jealousy, past relationships etc.
All of these things have aided in the building of layers, little by little, around her soul. These layers take years to build up and can take years to tear away.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not impossible. It just means there is a lot of ‘behind the scenes’ stuff that needs uncovering.
The process of uncovering an encumbered soul requires an incredible amount of trust in one’s partner and a desire to actually uncover the soul, knowing that painful memories, unpleasant experiences and even past relationships (sexual or not) will be a necessary part of the process.
It is vital during this process that the husband remains calm and reassuring regardless of how painful or uncomfortable it might be to hear your wife talk this through. She needs you now more than ever. Her soul has been weighed down for too long. Remember that this will take time. And even as painful as this process might be, the intimacy that will result from this will be immeasurable. The goal is to uncover the soul while at the same time, allowing healing to happen.
The reward? A woman who can now begin to discover her true identity as a woman, not just sexually but emotionally, physically and mentally.
Credit: Connie M Smith for helping me uncover my soul.