I like to use analogies that resonate with men and sports is almost always a home run in this regard. When someone starts talking about sports, no matter what kind, it’s like an automatic magnet for hip hipping and hooraying. So I thought we would talk about baseball today.
As of late, I have really started to like watching the game on TV. My favourite team is the Toronto Blue Jays but of course they have their win streaks and lose streaks like everyone else which can be frustrating for any fan.
I’ve never played baseball but I have played slo-pitch. You know, the safer kind with a bigger ball for those of us who struggle connecting and of course slower pitches. The basics of the game are the same no matter what size ball you use or how the pitches are thrown…to hit the ball so you can run around the bases to score a run for your team. Sounds simple enough right? I would agree. But the trick here is to hit the ball hard and far enough so you can safely arrive to first plate or better yet, second. You can make an advance by stealing a base but that is risky to do.
Now what does this have to do with sex? Glad you asked.
Most, but not all, women we have spoken with or heard from would tell you that they want more intimacy in their marriage. Most, but not all, men would like to have more sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these. But the problems come when women want men to be like women and men want women to be like men. It ain’t gonna happen folks! So stop trying.
But here’s the deal…if men learned how to be more intimate with their wives, they would undoubtedly have more sex. Both parties would be happy. Only problem is, men for the most part, do not know how to be intimate the way women want them to be. You may have heard your wife say at one time or another, why can’t you be more gentle or why are you in such a rush or even, why can’t you just stop thinking of yourself. Sound familiar?
Ah yes. It does. But here goes something that might help you men to be more intimate with your wives and to make her feel like she is on top of the world. (What if my wife doesn’t want me to make her feel good. Then what? ) We will leave that for another post. For now, we are going to focus on how to do that for those wives who want to enjoy sex more or, those who don’t know they want to just yet and need a little convincing.
As I have already mentioned in previous blog posts, TRUST is the number one reason why a lot of women will not allow themselves to be intimate with their husbands. TRUST is huge when it comes to growing your marriage relationship. Men, just think for a moment how much trust and vulnerability a woman must have to allow someone inside of her. It may be easy for you but you aren’t the one opening yourself up. She is opening herself up to you and allowing you to enter in. I don’t know about you, but to me this is a huge step for any woman to make.
Back to our baseball game. Women are a lot like the game of baseball. There are a number of things that must happen in order for a run to score in the game as well as with your wife. For a run to be scored with your wife, you must touch all of the bases, just like in the game. You cannot skip any base or your run will not count and you will be out. A hit might be something you say that makes her feel good. It might even get you to first base. But to get to second base, you might need some encouraging and relaxing techniques to get her in the mood. You might need to hang around second base for awhile depending on how her day went or how engaged mentally she may or may not be. Don’t rush this one. Take your time. Third base is just around the corner. Use soft touches and gentle caresses. Be direct and clear with your words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Look her in her eyes so she knows you are thinking about her. Up until this point, you may have not had any sexual touching yet. Non sexual touching is vital in every relationship. One sure fire way to frustrate your wife is to skip out on non sexual touching and go straight for the goods. Don’t do that! There is so much to be enjoyed in touching all of her and not just her breasts or vagina.
As you continue to make your moves, make sure you are reading her body language. If she is squirming and starting to respond to your touches, you might be on your way to third base. Here is where both of you will start to engage with each other sexually. Tell her how much you enjoy her body, ask her if she needs anything, etc. If you are doing it right, she will want more. If she still is resisting, you might need to stop at second base and gain her trust. If your wife frequently accuses you of just thinking about sex or you are going to fast, this is where things go wrong. You have skipped second base and quite possible third base and went straight to home plate without making contact with second and third base. This will undoubtedly cause frustration on your wife’s part. And sex will leave a tainted taste in her mouth. If you have to stop at second base until your next rendezvous then so be it. Over time she will trust you but you will need to gain that trust by your actions and not just your words. She needs to know you have her best interests at heart.
Every sexual encounter should include time spent on each base. Some days the time spent on each one will vary but keep in mind that women like to include all of them. They don’t like to skip on anything. That’s not to say that a quickie here and there isn’t great, but consistently skipping a base will eventually lead to some kind of frustration. Home plate is obviously where the sparks fly and orgasm happens. But the journey to get there, is just as important as the orgasm. Don’t miss out on opportunities to bless your wife with 100% of your best you along the way.
So next time you have an opportunity for intimacy, ask your wife if she wants to play a game of baseball. And together, discover all the things that can happen at each base.